Book clubs rock! Seriously, and so does theater if you are up for auditioning or doing crew work. It's VERY absorbing so you cannot obsess about anything other than the show...
Sucks about OW...but the A's, IF it is one, have to run their stupid course and the average is about 6 months but can be from 3 to 18 and SOME result in M...a 21 y/o? No, not a lasting R...not in mho at least. What's he got in common with her? Never mind, don't go there. But know that after the physical stuff, most people like to have conversations....know what I mean? That's why I honestly never thought about boy toys or understood middle aged women having much younger men like the "cougars".... (Except for when I get an Academy Award, if I were single, THEN I'd like a handsome 25 y/o for the evening...you know, to pose on the red carpet with, etc....) Seriously, it strikes me as a bit pathetic when I see it. My oldest brother dated a 24 y/o woman after he left his w (my sil, who was GREAT and I am still close to her and we still vacation together, etc) but he said "she's 24" twice and I said, "bro, you already told me that and I guess you want my reaction...but it is not a good reaction so don't push it." But he did! HE insisted I and my sisters tell him what we thought of him dating someone so much younger and ALL of us, without "consulting each other" had the same response...like "how insecure of him" and "how pathetic it looked" etc. Oh, she broke up with him too. Anyhow....she didn't know who George Harrison was, so...see ya! And he did remarry, a woman HIS age...and his ex w, my wonderful sil, remarried too. A GREAT GUY who makes her happy! Happier than my brother EVER did. Yeah, the irony of it all...
So, you KNOW what to do. Where the head goes, the heart will follow. I don't know what your fil means exactly. That was confusing to me. But I am sure you need to deal with your money issues NOW....do you have a L yet? Didn't we say this before?
Seeing a L does not MAKE you file. It empowers you with knowledge so you'll know how vulnerable you really are, or aren't.
See a L. ASAP. And did you get a good c? If not, (or if you can afford both) then call for a DB coach. I found them VERY helpful and I did it all. Worked out, GAL, had a good t, took AD's etc AND had a DB coach but if I could only do ONE thing...it'd be the coaching...not to take anything away from the rest, but it was very specific for me and so helpful. Plus the pkg ended up costing what regular t costs around here anyhow. Maybe even a tad less. So, there's that. And is there something you can spend your money on that is more important? It's like getting your heart treated...literally and figuratively. (( j ))
PS so you know, I like posting to you. You are hurting a great deal and have suffered a lousy blow. Of the LBSers, a few sort of "deserve it" but most played a role in the demise of their m. IF they ever get to that component, it's crucial in how well they do in their lives afterwards. If they stay in denial and place themselves in the "I'm an LBSer for NO reason and WAS left me FOR NO REASON"...it means they'll never feel in control of anything b/c after all, if they were perfect and without flaws AND YET were left behind...the world really sucks and they'll never take a risk again. But if we own our roles, then we can change ourselves and go forward in or out of the R and know that we are different now, and awake....and ultimately, in the LONG RUN...happier for it. So when I see how you cope, how you DO things differently b/c you want to be happy, how you CHANGE the way you THINK and feel with your head and heart both involved, and BRAVELY LOOK WITHIN AND FACE THE WORLD AS IT IS...then I think to myself, "now there goes a woman only a fool would leave."
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
