Well, I guess and example of that was me confronting her about my feelings of OM. Before I had been doing the classic DR move of not talking about and acting as if it didn't bother me. No more. After reading NMMNG and NUTS I decided that I can put my feelings out there and she can take it as she wants. So I told her that OM was very disrespectful to me and to our family. Told her that every day she is with him is like a slap in the face to me. She didn't like hearing that and complained about it and I just validated her complaints and told her...those are my feelings. I'm not telling you what to do but how I feel. Fast forward a week and she tells me she broke things off with OM. Now, I'm not an idiot so I know that she could be just saying that and I know that she is still in contact with him but she swears they are no longer a couple. So now if she asks me how I am I just tell her. No more dancing around it. Sometimes she'll ask (and she asks pretty much every day now how my day was and how I'm feeling). Some days I'm pretty chipper and I tell her that I'm good and having a good day. The other day she asked and I told her I was stressed about work and that my day wasn't going too well. She asked why and I told her that I was having issues trusting things she was telling me. I didn't ask her to verify anything or put anything on her...just owned my feelings. She did tell me she understood that based on what she had done. So that's how I do that. N.U.T.S is a book called Hold on to your N.U.T.S. It's similar to NMMNG and is a pretty good read. Whether any of this will change my sitch with W is unknown but I feel a lot better by owning up to my feelings and putting them out there instead of suppressing them and putting on a happy face all the time. Plus putting them out there is a serious 180 for me as during the marriage I would suppress my wants and feelings as to not upset W.
