I had a bad day today. It started yestreday now that I think about it but I didnt put much thought to an incident then.
Last night my friend that lives 80km out of Athens invited us to spend the day there, informed me another family of friends were going. I called H at work and asked him if he wanted to go. He said "yes". It was a bit short (the answer) so I asked if he was sure he wanted to go and he got upset because I asked. I told him that I have recently found out (through MC) that he used to agree with my suggestions a lot without wanting to and I was trying to make sure this wasnt the case. He got mad and asked "why do I keep doing this?". I said I didnt understand and we dropped it after I explained again I was making sure he liked the idea.
Today I picked him up from his house, both kids in the car. We were talking about World Wars with my son, music loud, happy and he gets in the car and I ask him if he could remember something my son asked that I couldnt. He said what he thought was true about it (World War I) and I was excited and said "get out of here, really? I would never have thought so". So he looks at me while I drive and tells me "can you please NOT shout, what is this, I hate it when you shout" with a very "looking down attitude" (not sure the phrase is correct). I was shocked because I wasnt shouting, I swear I was only excited. Of course he looked sleepy and tired and "out of context" again so I explained I was NOT shouting. He repeated his "dont shout please, I am fed up with you shouting". So I replied already mad, "well, I am sorry if I am not a zombie". THat was it! He was furious. He said I keep insulting him and he "will no longer take this and he will not play my fool anymore". I was even more shocked and furious too so I replied "whatever, do as you please".
He continued, spewing through his teeth, pulling the belt seat, acting like crazy repeating "this is enough this is enough". I told him that I didnt appreciate him getting in the car and making remarks to me, that I wouldnt take his "violence" anymore and I had enough too. I also said "YOU are playing my fool? are you sure, because then what am I supposed to feel". He then remembered the kids were in the car and told me quietly to "shut up, end it here and that is an order". I became sarcastic, didnt say much just nodded and said "really? who says?"
He went off that people dont change, that I am the meanenst person he has ever met in his life and that he cant believe so much meaness can exist in one's heart (mine). That's what he used to tell me during the crazy phase before we separated when he was constantly mad at me and I have told him that that was one of the things that hurt most. It really has a very strong effect on me.
So, I pulled over and asked him to get out, that he wouldnt ruin my day. He didnt, the kids started realising what was going on, he used them by saying "mom wants me to get out but she is only really playing", so I had to go on. We drove an hour with no words and I kept the music loud and was lost in my thoughts.
The day went by, we had little to no contact, the kids had fun, we came back now, I left him and my son at his house (my D stayed at our friend's house-first time ever she is staying away from both of us) and I am really really...fed up. K
