Wow, I have decided to not contact H at all until I have to, no more friendly chatter, I dont want to be his friend, I want to be his wife. As a result I havent talked to him for days. Its really hard, I keep thinking of cool things that are happening for me and I want to tell him.

Its funny, if I initiate the contact, he will text with me for hours. We still cant talk to each other without breaking down. But I kind of think that if I wait for him to contact me, I will be waiting forever.

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...