DCBHM, can you have the kids over to your house? Are HIS kids inviting them over to play? Thats icky.

I dont think that in the event of a reconciliation, you would be out of line at all requesting that she goes to therapy. But its not unusual for BPD people to stop therapy, or medication when they start to feel better (Im cured!). They have to want to get better, for themselves, their kids, whatever, it has to be their idea. I have noticed some almost sociopathic tendencies in some BP people, its about them, and what makes them feel good right now. Whats the big deal? Im not happy, and thats what matters.

I hope that you arent making a mistake by "painting her black" in court. Sometimes the D proceedings can be a chance for you to show each other that you have changed. Im not saying that will happen in your case, or that she has changed at all, but hasnt your M been hurt enough? I know that you have all this documentation, but is it necessarily wise to use it right off the bat? Maybe this is a chance to have your M euthanized rather than beaten to death. Im not even necessarily making a suggestion by saying this, mostly just thinking out loud.

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...