Hopefully it's okay with the moderators...so...here goes...
The workshop is called Essential Experience. It is NOT a cult (you don't have to get naked or carve letters in your forehead). I don't get money for "recruiting". Though it was very spiritual for me, no specific creed is shoved down your throat. It's now based in Philadelphia and the east coast, but there are "graduate" workshops elsewhere. It is for personal, individual growth and being a good community member, but as a result, most marriages improve. A lot. I originally went for issues related to my father's drinking and how my childhood affected my life as an adult and to get clarity in my life. It changed my life. I had no idea how many things would improve as a result and I am convinced that I knew nothing of forgiveness until I went there. I am convinced I would not have opened my heart or mind to that in my M, but for the fact that h and I had attended it years ago. (He also wants to go back for our anniversary which is a brilliant idea and feels really good to know.) Because of that workshop, when my father was on his deathbed, he asked me to forgive him. (This was about 5 years after I had attended). I told him "you are forgiven" and I meant it. Probably the holiest moment of my life. I would not have been able to mean it, and do it, were it not for that prior work.
Forgiveness is a process and I had done the work as far as I knew. But in that moment, I knew it was truly done and that something spiritual for my father and me, had happened. That's where I met that friend who'd had so much bad stuff in her life yet was so inwardly content. BTW, her PARENTS later attended it and I was there to see it, and I have to say, I was really impressed to see growth in people that age and how close the family was. Dang...
It is about personal work and taking charge of your own life, & it is very consistent with MWD's view that when we change ourselves,our world's change too. I saw a woman who's h had cheated on her and that was pretty much her ISSUE...the first night she went on and on about how he ruined her life, and what a "S---" he was, and how everyone she'd meet would know within 15 minutes, that her h had cheated on her. (Don't we ALL recognize THAT behavior?)) She did not seem to like her life or herself much at that moment. At the end of the workshop, she said "I'm ready to bury my hatchet with LIFE," and she did. All I know is that when I saw her next, maybe 5 or 6 years later, she had opened an art gallery, remarried a very loving man, and started hosting support groups that sprouted out of the workshop ( which helps you STAY on your program or action plan) and all this was because of a change in viewpoint and resolution of baggage. Learning to put it DOWN. Other people saw their spouses so differently, they woke up! Stayed married! If your M is "the" issue, ask the conductor or group leader about going separately, versus together. I don't know how often they have them but it's not every month for sure.
ANYHOW If you think of life's trajectorys, then mark some changes that are small and incremental AND then "chart" them like in geometry. Just change a few degrees in an angle, and draw out the line from where you were and headed, to where you THEN will be, simply b/c you make some incremental, but consistent changes, & you'll be in a very different place. It's about how to let go and get an action plan.
Some folks want the privacy of one on one and ONLY want that and I get that. But there is a lot to be said for community support and learning to GIVE and reach out and get perspective. So there's that. No one forces you to do or say anything. FOR ME, Sometimes in individual therapy, I'd get an insight or have a breakthrough BUT then I'd have to go back to work or home and "Function" as if I had not just been crying. And it was sort of disjointed, although I LOVED my t. It's just better for some, to work things out all in a row and plow through it in a safe place. Lots of issues get looked at (and you can't BS the speaker), I got CLARITY. Living a life of Intent...I cannot recommend it highly enough. It is not cheap, but considering the hours you'll get of "therapy" it's actually pretty cheap. Plus, if it does half of what it did for me, you cannot spend your money more wisely. It's 4 days. For me, it was the most efficient way of dealing with issues & we formed a support group with other "graduates" in our geographic area, with which we could carry on our new lives. Since it's quite consistent with DBing I hope this is okay to post. Not sure why it would not be, But there, "non-sales" pitch over.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
