I asked about his family and his other brother, the youngest one who B asked me for advice about a while back, since youngest one was frustrated with school and thinking about transfering. B explained how things were going better, and I told him that sometimes when you're in a bad environment, if there are just a few things that are working and you focus on them, it can make everything OK. He also talked about how his youngest brother's teacher seemed to be helping him develop better focus and practicing skills and I told him how one of the biggest things I learned in grad school was that I didn't have to be in a good mood to get things done when I practiced--and in fact, when I was feeling terrible, practicing usually made me feel much better, and I wish someone had explained that to me earlier. I even said something about how when I hadn't slept in three months practicing was the only thing that would calm me down. This was a pretty direct reference to myself post-bomb and I was surprised in retrospect that I said something like that.
I jokingly asked him when he was going to buy a viola. He laughed and then said he was still trying to save up to buy a new violin bow. He'd told me a while ago that he had almost enough money to buy a new one, and I asked him if that was still the situation. He laughed and said that the money had blown away in the wind, and that the wind in New York was blowing really strong. Then he said that he was getting a lot of conflicting feedback from his quartet and also other musicians that a) he either needed to buy a new violin or b) that his sound had matured and opened so much he didn't need to get a new violin. We laughed about that too.
At some point I told him about the friends I was seeing in NY-- all of whom he'd met. How one friend's extremely annoying (and much younger than her) husband was significantly less annoying than before. And then how another friend's new boyfriend was really terrible and I hoped that they broke up soon. (I think I told him that this guy doesn't even hold my friend's hand). It was like information I would share with my best friend.
When our food came, he wanted me to try some of his soup, and pushed the soup over to me with the spoon on the dish on my side of the table. I didn't have a spoon and he seemed to want me to use his, and I was a little surprised that he felt comfortable with me using his spoon. At another point he asked me if he could have some of one of my sides (fried bannanas) in a way that was really comfortable and open.
He also told me that he was moving to a new apartment!! I didn't really ask any questions, I just listened, because again, I was like, maybe he is moving in with another woman?! But he explained how things in his current apartment with his current roommate were just never going to get better--it was never going to be a situation where he felt a sense of ownership of his place, or partnership with his roommate. He had found some studios in harlem that looked feasable, and then an opportunity came up to move in with an up-and-coming MAN bluegrass banjo player into a great apartment (with a slightly tiny bedroom for B) in Brooklyn. He told me about all the things that were great about the new apartment, and how he hoped their application would be approved. He also explained the pros of living with the banjo man: since B is into bluegrass he'd be living with an up-and-coming banjo star, so lots of opportunities to learn and network, and also, the banjo man is on tour almost all the time, so B would have a lot of time in the apartment by himself.
Then he explained at length about how he tried to be really fair in dealing with his current roommate, but how his current roommate tried to manipulate him into giving up his security deposit or staying longer than B wanted to stay. It sounded bad. I told B I was so excited that he was getting into a better situation!!
