I'm glad to see that things are progressing smoothly. Just seems unfair in a way, but life has a way of doing that. Ultimately it is what you make of it - and it seems like you are making the most of it with your kids.
Says a lot.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
I have to say as a woman I admire all you have done to try and save your marriage. Because I wished upon anything for years my ex would even try just one thing to show me he loved me or cared about me. I thought maybe it was just a man thing. That they weren't into the reading books or doing things like that. But this site is inspiring to see how many men love their wife.
I am curious since her affair had the two of you been romantic or physical at all? Why do you think she tries so hard to want to feel beautiful or pretty? Has she ever gotten that validation from you? Could she maybe think you just don't want her? Are you aggressive in that sense? I am not saying or accusing I am just curious.
I am curious since her affair had the two of you been romantic or physical at all? Why do you think she tries so hard to want to feel beautiful or pretty? Has she ever gotten that validation from you? Could she maybe think you just don't want her? Are you aggressive in that sense? I am not saying or accusing I am just curious.
We were at first, but then it stopped again. I really shouldn't have, because I had insisted upon a full-panel STD test after we reconciled, and she stubbornly refused (I ended up getting one myself, and it was negative).
Yes, she got that validation from me for about 20 years. Eventually, I stopped, because I was no longer willing to meet her needs when she was making no efforts at meeting mine. So I think that when that happened, she sought it elsewhere, and that's when she had her affair. When we reconciled, I made sure to be very liberal with the compliments again, not only about her looks but about her abilities, but then I stopped again after she made zero effort at even meeting my SECONDARY love language (words of affirmation).
Why do I think she needs it to much? Because she's a narcissist.
So she like never shows any admiration towards you or compliments either? How does she act when you do give her compliments? Does it change her demeanor at all? Her behavior just baffles me.
What realities do you think she was able to see yesterday? If she is dating can't you at least use that to protect yourself from alimony? How can she even ask for that when she is potentially dating? Doesn't she feel guilty at all for what she has done? Doesn't adultery at the very least bar alimony in your state?
