Mark, I am reading your other posts in other forums. I get the sense that you actions are still based around how to influence your wife, what her reactions might be and what the magic trick is to getting her back.
What I am NOT getting is a sense of introspection into yourself, e.g. what you are doing for yourself, how YOU feel about things, how you can get to the next stage of your life, whatever it might be. You are still letting her make decisions for you.
What I fear is that sooner or later, you will build up so much resentment towards your wife that if she ever decides to try and make things work, you do NOT know what you want and you hate her for controlling everything in this situation.
So I will ask you to stop trying to focus so much on her and start working on yourself. Try to figure out what you want out of this bad experience and what you have learned. The more time passes, the more realizations should come along. Then when you are whole and happy with life and know where you are going, you wife will probably start looking at you in a different way. But if you continue what you are doing, then you will get what you have always got. You will chase and she will run away from you. So stop asking yourself what she wants. Ask yourself what you want and work towards that. If worse come to worst she will not reconsider then at least you have gotten yourself in a position where you can start to be happy on your own.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
