I'm feeling so discouraged

[PortlandDad]

Nah, you aren't rambling by any stretch of the imagination. It sounds like to me that you are finally getting "it", and learning how to detach.

Just like you, i remember when I just seemed to stop being the obsessive and mopey person, and when I started to realize that this was about me and my kids. My W will have to live with the fallout of her damaged relationship with our kids, but that is all on her. My kids need stability and a bond with a parent that they know is not going to be bent or broken.

At the end of each day, I realize that my W may or may not come back to me. At first, the thought made me sad, frightened, and lonely. Now I look at the prospect of her not coming back as something of an opportunity. I no longer want her back "at any cost". I want her back, but on the condition that she wants to work on the M and our R. I especially do not want her back if only because she is out of money or got dumped by the OM.

You are sounding really confident and sure of yourself lately, DL. Good for you!

So anything fun planned for the weekend (besides the singing thing at school)? I'm going to see about taking my kids up to Multnomah Falls (the 2nd largest waterfall in the US) and do some hiking. The wildflowers are supposed to be gorgeous this time of year!