Thanks for the support for this. I know that I can really use it right now.
The plot thickens...My H texted my sister last night to find out if she was still interested, she played along, he asked her if they could meet one on one before having a 3some, she said that she was more interested in the 3some right now, he was really cool about that, then asked her for naked pics of her, she said she had none, he sent her one, (she could not get it, thank god for that), said that she could not get it, he sent it again, still no, so she said it would have to be a surprise and he said he couldn't wait that he 'wanted to tap ur ASS!!! Yesterday!!'
She managed to get out of the convo soon after and that was the end of it. (For now, I bet)
I then got a bit vindictive today and looked into his email account (which I helped him set up so I knew the password, DUH) and found out that he had put a profile of himself on a sex search website. He even had the nerve to say he was married, and he used our ranch name as his username, just added 69 behind it. What nerve! His profile stated that he wanted people that swing, groups, fetishes, one on one, and other crazy activities. He's a pig!!
My H has been calling me, last night and tonight, and talking about how he wants to make the M work and that he loves me. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! I say I do too and answered appropriatly all the things that I should say. What he does not know is that I filed for divorce today. I have to wait until next week for him to be served. This is when he will be home to be served and I have to wait for a judge to sign an injuction about maritial assests and not disposing of them. I am basically living a lie right now with my H. I don't feel bad about it. It's kinda fun to say things to him knowing what I know and him having no clue. At one time we were talking about trust and he said that I was too trusting with people and that was going to hurt me. I said 'What I should not trust anybody? I should not trust you , I should not trust my mom and dad, or your mom?' He said 'No, you should only trust me because you know that I will not hurt you like these other people can do to you.' I just rolled my eyes and said 'I trust you, your my husband.' On the phone is one thing but it will be harder when I have to face him. This shows how controlling he is and how is is trying to isolate me from other people.
I do not care what he does, begging, pleading, apologizing, or crying...I will not change my mind. I don't care if he blames me for his affairs, it is not my fault. I have done everything that I thought I could to make my M work, (including venting my story to strangers on the internet, LOL) and I can walk away knowing that I did not mess this up, HE DID.
I did not think that I would have much support from my parents, they were mad last year when I took my H back and wanted to make it work, but they have been very supportive about all of it so far. I told my dad about it all first and had a hard time not crying, he was shocked that my H was doing this stuff and that my H was willing to sleep with my sister. He then told my mom about it later, and was tearing up when he told her. I think they are hurting for me and will definitly be there for me when I need them.
I will keep coming here. My name still says exactly what I am...LOST. I can't wait for him to be served so the 90 days can start. I can't wait for him to be served so I can stop lying about things to him. I know that he deserves it but I still hate living a lie. He has a problem. Sex addict or something. Either way he needs help and he won't find it here with me.
Bridgestone...I already figured out that my love for my H was not enough for him not to do these things in the first so I know that I can not love him enough for him to change. I could never forgive him even if he wanted to change. It is too far gone for that. And your right, I do not want my girls raised in a house like this. I will be better raising them on my own than with my cheating, lying, nasty, abusive, sex addicted husband by my side.
Breakaway...thanks for website, I will visit it.
Purple... My heart is broken, my life is shattered, and my dreams are scattering in the wind...but I will slowly pick up the pieces and get 'myself' back together in time.
Me-31 Him-28 D1-9 D2-6 Married 5-06 Seperated 12-07 He filed 1-08 Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08 Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09 Filed for D 4-28-09 Trying to make a go of it 6-09
