I'm feeling so discouraged

[bluerain]

You can tell him if you want, but I wouldn't. Its not to teach him a lesson or anything like that, its not for him at all, in fact. This is time for you to focus on yourself, on getting back into a rhythm that isnt so destructive. You cant just do this all the time, have the break up be all you think about, what went wrong, how you could have changed it, etc. No one can, if you let it become an obsession it will eat you alive.

No one is asking you to push him away, only to stop trying to pull him closer. Maybe you could try doing some 180's if you really arent comfortable with going dark. React in a completely opposite manner than you normally would, stop texting/emailing/calling. And just let it be. Dont pursue contact, but instead wait for him to come to you, and when he does, be unexpected.

You said he felt devalued and rejected in your M, maybe you could find (legitimate) ways to compliment him, a 180, "H, Ive really noticed that youve lost weight, Im proud of you for becoming healthier, you look like you feel great." Is that over the top? Make it genuine, or hell see right through it. This is a change that would be positive for you too, and if you keep it up long enough, it wont be an act anymore, it will be who you are. And how could he not notice that.

Have you gotten the DBing books? I checked mine out from the library, and you can find almost all of the chapters on here. They will give you excellent suggestions.