Renee, Even though I've not been posting to you, I've been following your thread for severals days. I've given a lot of thought to your situation today and here's what I sense from your postings. I have to say that I'm right there in the opinion of Braveheart and Jack, your h is exhibiting signs of being a walk away.
Yes, he's working out and tanning, but that doesn't constitute a full mlc diagnosis, nor does wanting a quick divorce, the ow, etc. Your h isn't exhibiting a lot of confusion like most of them. I suspect your xh was tired of living up to everyone's expectations and wanted a clean break. He saw the chance when his son was nearly grown and he just walked away.
Now, I'm not saying I'm 100% correct in what I think is going on, but the more you post about your situation and how he's behaving, the more I'm leaning towards the walk away spouse.
Do you treat the situations differently? No, you go on w/your life as if he has moved to Mars. If this man should choose to want to reconnect and possible form a relationship w/you, that's when you will have the opportunity to say yes or no. If I were in your shoes, I'd leave the door ajar and go on w/your life. You've been on the rollercoaster for a very long time and it's not healthy. Your son and your nephew most likely have sensed the stress that you've been under and it's not a healthy environment for them either. The best thing you can do is DROP THE ROPE and allow God to do his work.
Whether your xh returns or not, you must learn to rely on yourself and be there for your son and nephew. It's time to blaze that trail through life and start living your life for you and your son and your nephew. BTW, how is your nephew doing w/all of this? I'm sure he's concerned about the situation.
It's time to take back your life and live it to the fullest. It's one step at a time, one day at a time. You are going to backslide periodically, that's okay...just learn from your mistakes. Look ahead and plan for the future of you and your little family. Your family is the most important thing right now and the three of you need to work together to become stronger and more independent.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
