Thanks WCW for letting me know we`ve something in common. Looking at your post braces me for a long haul and encourages me to continue to move forward with my own life.
Thanks Mach for hauling me up on looking at my reflection. Hindsight has made my reflection clearer; I wish I hadnot been so quick to get angry with H when he got into his moods. And there`s lots more stuff I`ve to work on on myself too. Yes, even for moving forward to another relationship if that turns out to be the case.
Jack and K, my husband has threatened to hit but never actually hit. He has left me in no doubt that he could hit me and I have told him before of my fear that he might hit. And no he has not addressed that issue.
Last October I was very sick, sitting in a chair but nonetheless confronting H about his proposed and mysterious week end trip. He couldn`t handle the questions and just jumped up off the sofa, ripped off his jacket and tie and danced around like a boxer threatening me with his fists and asking me if "you want to f***ing fight, c`mon and f***ing fight"
That is not the language of our household nor the behaviour I want my children to witness in their father. Sadly my sons hears(but did not see) this.
He showed no remorse after. In fact continued to blame and berate me. It was the same story the next day. In fact the closest I got to an apology was "I regret I did that" but that was after I took him to court. He went into IC for maybe three or four sessions(he never did clarify that) but has discontinued that.
He was angry at me for taking him to court"I am your husband and I only did it(the physical intimidation) once" "Look how much this is costing me"
To say the man has his head buried in the sand in an understatement. That`s why I say to myself I don`t really want him-at least not as he is now. Yes we have had happier times and yes I do want to try just a little harder to stay married.
But maybe I`m wrong about that.
Whatever. This is obviously a time for a lot of growing and soulsearching for me.
I am so very very grateful for all your support and the benefit of your experience and yes, I will go find those resources now and also search for other posts with similar situations to mine.
