You are in a tenuous position. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. I congratulate you on that. You should look into Retrouvaille at their website, http://www.helpourmarriage.org. They have weekend workshops for married people going through difficult times where you work together on communication. It is not counseling, you and your wife talk in total privacy, but they give you questions to answer and things to think about. The weekend saved my marriage, and I recommend it highly as do several other posters on this website. At this point, I would look at the retrouvaille website and choose a weekend that works for you, and then invite your wife to go there with you. I would focus on getting her to go to the weekend. You will make more headway there than anywhere else.
