The adventure continues--part 3

[dburt]

By the way I meant to say do not threaten her at all with it, just do what you think is necessary.

Burt

[AFWAW]

Lucky,
LOL, thanks. I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself at this point and it's hard not too. And I know 40 is not old.

What are you doing to GAL?
I work out everyday. I'm not going back for my masters at this point. I do need to find a hobby. First things first, I need to calm down, clean up my house and get some rest.

Thanks again for your kind words, really.

[AFWAW]

DON'T TELL HER ANYTHING. Threats are NOTHING. Either you do it, swiftly and deliberately, or you don't at all. Speak nothing of it.

Ok, sounds good.

[AFWAW]

Has she never deployed? Does she not know what you had to do?

I just was re-reading this and no, after 16 1/2 years in the military she has never deployed. So no, she doesn't appreciate what I had to go through.

[LG nm12]

Hey - You're in Florida. Are you near Puppy? You two should unite to become the dynamic duo. Take karate together or something and be all badass.

[AFWAW]

LOL, don't know where Puppy is. That would be fun though.

[BobbiJo]

I was actually thinking of karate as a GAL...builds strength and self-confidence and has real values like loyalty, respect, self-control...

[gucci loafer]

At this point, I don't see much hope anyway so I am/have pretty much given up hope.

You ARE MISSING the point... Your HOPE is in letting her see that you are moving on. THAT is your hope and best chance to get her back. FAKE IT. Do whatever it takes to show her you have had enough. THAT IS YOUR HOPE.

AFWAW.. I have been very very successful with women over many years. I am very happily married now. The things I am telling you are true. You will forever be wondering about women until you come to the point that you KNOW ONE THING FOR SURE...

That is... Chasing and pursuing a woman who says, shows or acts like she doesn't want you is nothing more than a waste of your valuable time. She can NOT feel love for you when you keep telling her you love her no matter what she does. SHE doesn't even understand how you can keep loving her. If she feels so low of herself that she says she is not worthy of you, then she can not love you back with her feelings. Why?

If she doesn't love herself, then subconsciously she thinks that if you love her even though she doesn't love herself, then there must be something wrong with YOU. (think about that)



I have a lot of close male friends. The ones that have the best success with women would agree with me here. They would all tell you to STOP CHASING A WOMAN WHO REJECTS YOU.

Once you realize and see how well NOT CHASING works, then you will not want to go back to chasing and pursuing...

Why?

Because IT DOES NOT WORK. Quit fighting the reality. Just go with the reality. If you have to pretend you have let her go, then so be it. PRETEND. FAKE IT.. Whatever it takes.

Wearing your heart on your sleeve will only drag this out to a slow death... There is nothing to be scared of here. Man up.
Take charge. Go out and have some fun.

The men who have the most success are the men who know how and when to leave her alone. Do you not see that the OM is NOT chasing? Why is it that you ask her if SHE called him? Is it because you know that when a woman really really likes a man that they have a hard time with no contact?

Turn around and MAKE HER CHASE YOU. Don't offer her any bits of love or hope. Be nice, be polite, be distant, be mysterious.

Shawshank Redemption..... "Red, I figured I could either get busy dying or get busy living"

Your confidence will come AFTER you make these STRONG decisions.
AFTER you quit following your feelings and start following logic and reality.

You may be surprised.... She may start chasing YOU when you turn the other way. She certainly can't chase someone who refuses to be chased now can she? She needs a crisis.. People usually don't change until in a crisis... Give her one. Give her what she needs. (the crisis that she has possibly lost you)


THAT is your hope... Letting go doesn't mean there isn't hope any more than not letting go means there is any hope.

Don't get caught up in the "hope trap".. It has you paralyzed.
Your hope is in getting some backbone here and showing her self respect. Once you can do that, then you may be back in the game here....


Quit trying to find ways to say you CAN'T be strong and start finding ways to say that you wish you would have done this long ago....

You really don't need this drama in your life. Eliminate it.
Let her think you have had a HUGE awakening.. HUGE...

[DanceQueen]

Hey Vorlon....I'm jealous! AFWAW gets a message on his thread from you, but not me?

I miss you!

Hope you are well.....

DQ

[AFWAW]

gucci loafer,

WOW, I needed that. You are absolutely correct. I'm actually going to print this out and read it over and over again. It makes sense. I have to think about this and really practice this I guess. I know I have ALWAYS worn my heart on my sleeve and it has gotten me no where with women. I see your points and will be reviewing them.

Thank you.