That really sounds like some serious cake eating you're allowing. If the OM in my situation was local, and I knew my W was seeing him, I'd probably just stay as dark as possible, and maintain strict boundaries, as in no time together other than the minimal required to deal with kids, etc. In other words, business only. For me, the fact that the OM is so far away puts me in a very confusing situation. In some ways, I now feel like the OM. I'm here, able to see my W in person and have fun with her, while he's stuck thousands of miles away. My W still has solid walls up toward me though, and I try not to fight them.
