Hey Stuck, how do you like the way I changed your name to stitch? LOL! I made so many typos that I laughed when I read my post. Didn't have enough time and was trying to hurry too much. Maybe you will be able to muddle through what I was trying to say.
I realize that each case is different b/c it has a lot to relate to that particular person's age, MR, and everything around the stitch. Why that wife felt the need to turn to another man, etc. So, you can't measure what one person was like with your wife or how she may react to what you do......however, I understand perfectly well your reasons for asking your questions and don't blame you b/c I would probably be doing the same thing if I were in your shoes. I just wished I could say more to help. I think it has much to do with the breaking off of the EA and to how she will respond to you. As I said before, if the OM did something that really ticked her off and she finally woke up and wondered what she ever saw in him, then that would be an answer to prayer b/c she would forget about him a lot quicker and certainly not carry a torch for him any longer. She would be ready to get back to who she use to be in her life before all that stuff with the EA/OM started. But, it doesn't always happen that way, especially if they are feeding each other's egos. What concerns me is if he is as involved in it as she is, then he is going to start pushing for a PA. You KNOW he will......any man will if he thinks there is a chance of it happening even one time! So, that is why I think her deciding to continue to work with him and telling you that it won't affect her is a bunch of "stuff". Does she have a job where she could move to a different office or department to get away from seeing him every day? I just wondered if it is a situation where she really has no say in any of it in order to keep her job or if it would mean looking for new employment. I know this is not a good time to be looking for a new job with the economy like it is, but she may have to decide which is more valuable to her........the job or the marriage.......or the OM.
I don't know what you will decide about the tickets and the rose (which I think is so sweet and romantic) but I know with me.....if my H had done that before i was over the OM or while I was still involved in an EA.....it would not have been a good thing. I realize that is not what you want to hear, but you know I try to be as honest as I can with you. But, some wives are on such a roller coaster that they can accept an invitation from their H's like that and really enjoy it and maybe go home and ML with him, and then the next day be cold as ice to him. So, you never know what to expect if they are in MLC or an EA. I just know that I could not or would not have done it as long as I was involved with the OM. But that is just me.
Talk to you later. I hope things will go as you want them to, Stuck.
Take care, Sandi
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
