It has been a crazy few months and lots of items that have impacted our sitch. Thought I would journal a bit.

Ran for office in April 7 election. Spent a TON of time on it (for three weeks I wasn't home before 9:30 at night and was out knocking on doors for three straight weekends). Lost a close one, and in one sense was very dissapointed, in another I was releived because I might have bit off more than I could chew for balancing work and family as well. But, felt a deep level of respect from W as she watched me speak to crowds, etc. That was cool.

Two weeks before election, W starts a new job. Good news, bad news. Good news getting the job, bad news is it was at a pressure cooker time in our relationship with the election and she needed to work a lot for that two weeks. During that time we hardly saw each other and when we did things were either stressed or exciting and ml was not even a thought (honestly, not even for me).

Friday before election, W needs sudden operation and we spend weekend in hospital. I joked that we needed some quality time away from the kids...

Doctor orders no ml for 6 weeks (today is three week point) and w "jokingly" asks doc if he meant 6 months. That bugged me, especially because I was a very good H about taking care of her and never expressed any concern. Much worse was aunt and MIL who tell me she shouldn't need to go back to work, which reflects a lack of understanding of lifestyle we have chosen to live (ie. house we couldn't afford if she wasn't working) and her tastes. That made me feel like a complete loser as a provider.

Now, three weeks in and because things have settled down since election, W seems to be better about going back to work. Still need to sit down with her and make sure she understands EVERYTHING (not just in the fragments she wants to hear about) about our finances so she stops complaining to her mom about having to work.

We are in a weird place sexually. I think this is her ideal sitch (not working, but with income coming in and a husband with no expectation of ml). Not sure how to move past all of this and not just re-emerge in a rut, or worse. Would appreciate all thoughts.

CB

Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"