I'm here........

[SueS]

Hi Joyful - Thanks for stopping by!

Well, I didn't think I'd be back on quite so quickly.

I did some things on the computer last night after D5 went to bed. H had gone out with a buddy. As I was on the internet, I decided to do a little snooping. I found listings for 3 bedroom homes/townhomes in OW's neighborhood. I called H to see if he'd be home soon and told him that we needed to talk when he got there.

When H got home, I asked him to please be honest with me and tell me what's going on. Tell me if it's really ever been over with OW. He said, I thought it was, but I'm not sure. I told him about seeing the listing and asked what that was about. He said, I don't know what to say, OW sent them to me. I knew that was true because I could tell that he had not searched for them himself. I asked him if he planned on leaving us as soon as he found a job. He claims that he doesn't. I asked about OW. I asked if he still planned on making a life with her. He said, to be honest, it's very doubtful that that would happen. I asked why. He said because I don't think I want that....I'm not sure what I want. He asked me why I still wanted him. I told him that despite what's happened, I've seen the better side of him and I know it's still there. That I can remember the good times. I said, you asked me what I want. I said that I want my family, I want my husband, I want to be his wife and not just his roommate and if that's not what he wants then he needs to figure it out and let me move on. It was hard. I was crying. I asked him if he had any plans of moving away from MN. He said that he can't leave D5. It was quiet after that. I know that my H can be manipulative, but there's part of me that believes that he is starting to realize what life would be like with OW and her 4 kids and it's not a life that he would do well with. Not that it would mean him staying with us though.

I know that I have to keep doing what's best for D5 and I. I'll do my best to do that.

Well, back to work.

SueS