Playhouse

[Matilda2]

Hi Yoyo. Let me know what you decide about the graduation dinner. I am in the same boat(being conflicted) except that it's D18's dad AND GIRLFRIEND, not the inlaws, that are my "problem". I am just not sure I am ready to do a joint dinner. I haven't asked D18 yet, because I wanted to make sure I was comfortable with the question!

[Yoyowife]

Hi TAL and Mattie,
Thanks for stopping by.

Mattie, I'm not sure what will happen with graduation. Uggghhh... It stinks, doesn't it?

Well, today we had a planning meeting for next week's prom dinner. One of the dad's is in charge of the grilling of steaks and chicken. The rest there were his wife and 3 other moms. The dad was talking about his plans. He said, "I've got a couple of dads I want to help me prior to the dinner and then some for clean up. He looked at me and said, "I have your H to help cook. I said, I don't want him here. He said, "He can't make it?" I said, "I just don't want him here." I did not say anything else about it. I'm sure he knows what is going on. His wife and I are friends, not close, but friends. My really good friend sitting across from me looked at me and I told her, "I'm tired of pretending we are one happy family. He doesn't take DD out to dinner otherwise, why let him put on a show?" I didn't say it loud enough for everyone else to hear. She said, "I don't blame you, and I'm proud of you."

I do not plan on calling H and telling him anything, but if he calls and asks for a time, "I will simply tell him it's taken care of." Yes, I know this may sound a little selfish to some of you, but my H doesn't spend any one-on-one time with DD. Yes, he willing gives her money, but as far as quality father/daughter time, it does not exist.

I've learned some more of his deceptions recently and I am tired of the lies. I'm setting my boundaries, I do not wish to be around him. The kids will eat early in different clothes other than their prom clothes. Afterwards they will all go home to change into prom attire and then leave for prom. If H wants to come to the house and see her dressed before she leaves for the prom, that is fine, but I do not wish to spend 2 or 3 hours at a dinner with him.

I will not tell him he can't attend, because really that isn't my place, but I will certainly not encourage it. I hope he gets the hint!

[hope3343]

Yoyo, I know how hard this is for you BUT I understand fully. My H like yours thinks that because he provides financially that all is fine. It's NOT.

My H missed both the sweetheart dance and homecoming dance this year. No pics with her Dad, no meeting friends, dates etc. How sad is that. I sent him a picture of her via the cell phone with instructions that he could not show the OW per D15. This is how pathetic their life has become.

You need to set your boundaries. They have set the boundaries with us...lies and broken promises. We stand true to our believes and till they come out of the fog we take care of ourselves and our families and that is what God wants us to do.

take care.

[kat727]

How are you doing? Is the prom Saturday? I hope it turns out well and I am sure your daughter will have a special night. Let us know what is new and how it all goes. Thinking about you.

hugs, kat

[Yoyowife]

Hi Kat,
Yes, prom is Sat. night. She is very excited. Hard to believe it's her senior prom! She of course has her prom dress. She also has a cocktail dress to go out to eat in. Yes, they wear two different dresses, haven't times changed? She's already had her eyebrows waxed, gets her manicure and pedicure tomorrow, hair and make up Saturday afternoon. The dinner being thrown by the parents starts at 6:00. After dinner,they will go home and change into prom attire and then meet at one of the girl's houses to get group pics, then it's off to the actual prom at 9:00. Whew, I think prom is more preparation now than when I got married 23 years ago!

[SueS]

Hi Yoyo-

Have a great time this weekend. I'm sure it will be a bit emotional. My sister blubbers every time she thinks of my niece (also a Sr.) doing something for the last time. I understand though!

Thanks for the return email last week. I updated my thread yesterday and have more information today.

Take care Awesome Lady!!

SueS

[JAK58]

Yoyo,

Hope you and your D have a great time and that it will be a wonderful memory for the both of you.

Jak

[Matilda2]

Look forward to hearing all about prom!

[kat727]

Hope you both had a wonderful time tonight.

[Dr LOve]

Hey YoYo,

I know EVERYTHING went great last night..Listen I will have pleanty of time on my hands now do you want me to come down and kick your H's butt?Maybe pick up the OW.. take her out get her drunk and smear honey all over her and leave her next to a ant hill?

Take care girl, today is my oldests 27th b-day
Tomorrow it is back to work? well for two more months...

Doc