thanks for the support - all evidence is against another OM, but conventional wisdom says otherwise. i know if thats true its really a no win sitch. after one month, last night, she wanted to sit down and do the nuts and bolts of custody and sharing the assets. hard, but we actually got to talk a while and had a few laughs. she knows that im never giving up on her. as someone said, it may be too late, but damned if its going to be too little.