German wife still foggy

[PortlandDad]

he point of the transparency is to enforce the honesty and to allow you to believe when she is being honest.

As SP said, We have all learned (the painful lesson) that our WAW's are very accomplished liars when it comes to OM. This completely destroys the trust that was there before, so that afterwards, it is very hard to believe her even when she is being honest.

That's a good point. I do want to trust her, but I don't want to be naive about it. Really I just want the truth. If she tells the truth, I will know I can trust her and will reciprocate.

We've all prayed for the day that our W's or H's would come back I guess sometimes we don't think of how we want them to be when/if they do come back.

Back when she first walked out this was certainly the case. Right now, I think about this a lot. I don't want the same woman that walked out on our family back: but I will gladly take my wife back. If she hasn't learned from this experience, and wants to be together with me to build a new marriage (not restore the old one) then she can just stay where she is.