Accelerated divorce due to OM...normal?

[sweet-1]

So I get a phone call today from my lawyer. I need to make a decision by friday 09:00 as to do collaborative or else we start court proceedings on Monday. Perfect timing. He recommends collaborative because we are horribly stretched on finances already etc. I sat down and assuming the economy stays as is not worsens, we will be 60-80k in the hole after selling EVERYTHING!. She's expecting the house and holiday trailers to be sold, and figures they'll sell quickly (?). I intend to demand we sell Everything.. no buyouts, no money exchanges hands, and we each are responsible for 50% of the shortfall. She tells the kids "mommy doesn't love dad as ahusband anymore" yet another version of the same old tired "i'm too scared to try and fix this" routine. The kids are pretty upset, this is the only house they've known, best friends are neighbors etc. She assures me they'll get over it, and her lawyer insists there's no chance of reconciliation.

The B-day party went very well, she wouldn't make eye contact, talked on the phone for a large part of it, nothing new. The kids then out of the blue asked if she would come over for a hot tub, she was taken aback and said no, it's too cold (-1*C). She did come over and watched them play, inspected her flower beds etc. She took some pics of her tulips, sat on the phone a bit, refused coffe or a drink of any kind, wouldn't remove ner boots.

I was cleaned up and friendly, but not overly chatty. Kept my answers simple and polite. I made sure my wedding ring was visible, and DR was on the counter (she saw but pretended to ignore). Hose was immaculate again, kids were high strung but okay. You could tell they were super happy to have mom and dad in the same room 2 days in a row.

We're going to the zoo on Sat, I doubt OM is coming. She's taking the kids out for ice cream cake afterwards, I said I'd come for a bit but have dinner plans later. She grimaced and tried to ask a question, I changed the subject immediately and never did answer.

As she was leaving she seemed upset, I tried to give her a friendly hug, she backed away. I slipped up by doing this.