Update; my husband was married previously for about 22 years. In his words the first five years were fine, then his X-W wanted an open marriage which lasted about 15 years. They saw different people during this time, and his X-W even moved to a different country to live with a man for nearly a year, leaving their eldest daughter with my H. My H had a series of flings and one night stands but nothing serious. His X-W returned after the break up with her lover and wanted the marriage to work and to have another baby; she was 40 at the time. My H agreed but not to another pregnancy. Within a year she was pregnant. After giving birth to their second daughter she left me H for good, returning to a relationship with a man that she was seeing in the open marriage period. They are still together. After my H X-W left him his company collapsed and he went into a depression for two years and was on anti-depressants. Interestingly, he has often referred to his X-w's actions towards him and now his actions towards me as exactly the same which is hurtful. I met my H about 2 years after his X-W left him and he was still living in the marital home, something that he continued to do up until about 14 months after we met. Funny, after reading what I have been writing it has hit me that my H has never lived by himself, he has always lived with women; first his aunt and uncle, who brought him up (his Mother lived next door with his other siblings but his aunt and uncle couldnt have kids and my H father died when he was 3 months old, so because my H was the youngest he was farmed out to a family member). He then lived with his X-W, then with me and now with his development manager although he is demanding that he will be moving back in here for some of the week. there would be an argument for my H to grow up and live by himself and not be with anyone. Then he would be creating the space to start to know himself, not just act on his ego alone, which is manifesting through his relationship with his DEV. man.
