AFWAW. Please remember you are the one "in the right"; you are in a very unique position because she is active duty enlisted having, as a minimum, an inappropriate affair with an officer (if you could get proof...he would be in serious trouble). Use your toolbox. She is not rational right now...believe nothing, I mean nothing she tells you. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I had an old crusty CMSgt years ago...his leadership style was harsh. His rule was if you are bringing this "stuff" into work they have lost it already. His reasoning behind this was much like an alcoholic skipping work...the work is what gives them the money to keep buying the alcohol. She is already there...she is jeopardizing all or a portion of her retirement check by having the affair...this will at some point take food out of her daughters mouth, clothes off her back, etc...The money she is throwing away right now should be going in a college fund. I am not trying to scare you but please stop listening to her...tell your shirt and commander in the morning. Go workout somewhere else, foget the base gym, go run! Did you stop the drinking? Now is not the time for you to be drunk. You have custody of your daughter...she doesn't need to see her dad passed out or sluring his words. Stay strong, get in your lane. Forget about her for now and let the system work the problem. If everything goes to "xxxx" you will have evidence for custody, support, and possibly protect your retirement check, which will be much more than hers if you make SMSgt and she ends up as a TSgt/SSgt...Although she doesn't deserve whatever stripe she has nod should the Lt Col be running around as a commander of anyone.
Take care, stay focused on what is best for your daughter. For now you are all that she has and it will get worse before it gets better. Don't forget church for both of you.
I know this is a jumble...I am so upset to see a SNCO, Iraq Vet, Bronze Star nominee, deserving SMSgt (select) go through this crap... Has she never deployed? Does she not know what you had to do? Take care and go see your 1st Sgt
