Tonight I had a school function for my S6. W and I went in separate cars and pretty much didn't talk much the whole time. She asked me a few questions and I just gave short answers. I couldn't seem to muster even a smile around her tonight. I didn't feel sick, but it was like I was jumping out of my skin - not nervous or sad around her, I kept thinking about how much fun I had with my new friends the night before and how being around W just sucked. I wanted to bolt out the door the whole time.
Then I recalled W telling me awhile back that she felt like her 'skin was crawling' constantly around me for months prior to the bomb and that she wanted to flee. I guess I finally felt the same thing she has for awhile. I'm not complaining about the new feeling, just observant of how bad it must have been for her.
It's like my mind finally turned it around so that I wasn't the victim anymore, I was consciously feeling... I don't know, not necessarily in control, but clearly sensing that I could make my own choices and be happier without her. (yeah, I know, grass is greener), but it wasn't like I had another ship to jump onto, it was just that I felt like the ship I was on was burning underneath me.
