HELP! Is ML to try to reconnect a mistake?

[trampledheart]

Just to recap, my brother passed away two weeks ago. H showed absolutely no sympathy, even when I asked if I could just have a few moments of his time...

...that doesn't seem to make sense either. I have sent an email to H, letting him know I love him, and that I needed to say goodbye for me. I have still had no response.

Lola, I had gone through something like this with my H as well - actually, several times. Though not as serious as a death in the family, each incident showed my H's lack of sympathy, and most people would have been done with him after only one such incident. I endured way too many, in my family and friend's opinion... I'll tell you about some:

This incident may have been the trigger for H's MLC... Just when my D21 was going through some major problems, H couldn't and wouldn't deal with it and just wiped his hands of her and said he didn't have a daughter. He subsequently left us, and I helped her through it by myself. She's fine now, but it was a very difficult time for me.

This incident was soon after his departure 2 yrs ago. I was driving to my sister's home, and suddenly my heart starting beating fast, I couldn't seem to get any air, and I became dizzy. I thought I was having a heart attack. I went to Emergency Hospital. While I was in the there being checked-out, D21 called H to tell him what happened and to come. He refused.

Another time: I was again in Emergency because our dog accidentally (& instinctively) bit me on above my eye (I went to kiss her from behind and I didn't know she was chewing a bone). D21 took me to Emergency and H did not come then either.

And another: My niece (29 yrs old) that H has known since she was 1 yr old, was getting married and wanted her favorite uncle, my H, to come to the wedding. She felt strongly about it enough to want to call him personally. He did not come or even send a card or gift.

He's disregarded Birthdays and Holidays for even our D21... And there's been so much more such strange behavior from him, the list is quite long.

I have been astounded and appalled with the strange person he's become. I've wanted to throw in the towel so many times! I don't know what's kept me around, could it really be love or is that I just can't believe this is the same man. It was as if a demon had possessed him! I just have to know why and how this could've happened - who is this man? Where's the other guy that was always there for his family?

I know from anyone else's perspective, I must seem like a weak fool. In my H's mind, we are already divorced. In mine, it feels more and more that we are too. I just want to turn that tide and hope he comes to his senses.

Trampledheart