Divorce looming #11

[K4D]

Wow,

I know. Be thankful. I have to quit worrying about stuff. I wasn't trying to be hypocritical, I guess it just came across that way.

I'm also just trying to figure out an education plan.

I agree. Alot of people have it far worse than me. Alot of people have had their hearts broken and dreams crushed like me.

I don't have any benefits with this job by the way since it is only a contracting position.

But none the less, you are right. And I do read yalls posts multiple times. I just still let myself get down. And I have got to quit that.

I'm just tired of this. And I know yall are to. And yall are tired of yall's situations to. And I sure hope to be one of the lucky ones that saves his M. I pray everyday it will happen. But I can't do it if I always get down.

I think what bothers me alot is when she got the job with the money that I did not take, she left. And she no longer needs me financially. And now I worry about making enough money to attract her back on top of everything else I have to do to attract her back.

I'm tired of her ignoring me except when she needs something or it has to do with the kids.

But yall are all tired of your situations to and managing through it.

I just want to say to her, Hey, I love you and things will be ok. We can work through this. But I have said that and it only drove her further away. So I don't say it.

I am trying to do stuff. I just haven't gotten a life yet. I'm trying to learn this job. I'm trying to spend any time I can with my kids. I'm trying to get the apartment situation settled. It just all takes time, but I am getting closer to each one. I am trying to figure out an education plan. I am trying to figure out how to buy a house and retire by planning.

I'm doing stuff. I just still let myself get down to much. And it affects me. I am at the house now and I really feel secure here. I always do when I am here.

I hope yall enjoy your trip and I wish your daughter the best of luck. I'm sorry to hear about your house and retirement situation and everyone else's to. I know that is a worry for a lot of people.

I am taking meds. I haven't sought out a C yet and I need to. I will.

Things are looking up. They just take time. I just have to keep my W out of my mind.

Kevin