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I'm w/Burt, AFWAW. Don't get too far down the road. Use this time, between now and May 7th, to see how she lands. I do like the thought of requiring her to a) have ZERO contact w/OM; b) be as transparent as possible while living apart, and c) GO TO MARRIAGE COUNSELING!!!


Me-46, D-21, S15, S13

After many years w/my head in the sand...
I FILED
Divorced 6/2011

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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Well, well, this isn't a surprise. She sent me an email that says:

I enjoyed talking with you for so long last night. You are very easy to talk to now, I'm still in shock at how you have handled all this. You are just amazing.

Please tell our daughter I love her. I guess I'll see you all for a little while this evening. Don't worry about making dinner for me, I'll grab a bite at home. We also have an ice cream social fundraiser tonight so I'll be going to that as well.

Cake eating at its finest. I knew it was too good to be true. She made a way to come over for a little bit and leave soon she can have possible contact with OM? What else am I supposed to believe? Is OM going to be at the fundraiser? I'll bet money he is. Hmmmmmm, developing an ulcer here at this point.

Inputs on this?


M-41
ex-W-40
Together--17 years
SS-20
D-14
Bomb--2 Feb 09
WAW--6 Feb 09
Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!!
ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!!
Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
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How bout thinking of it this way, she has a chance to spend time with you guys but bolts, God She is a dumb ass. I generally laugh at dumb asses, and remember she is still not herself, so just laugh at this other person. The 2x4 that will slap her in the head is coming soon, let her get everything out now.

Burt

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Quote:
God She is a dumb ass.


I'll agree with this.

Quote:
I generally laugh at dumb asses, and remember she is still not herself, so just laugh at this other person.


I wish my sense of humor would return but unfortunately it hasn't yet.

Quote:
The 2x4 that will slap her in the head is coming soon, let her get everything out now.


At this point, I am extremly skeptical, extremly. Maddening isn't it?


M-41
ex-W-40
Together--17 years
SS-20
D-14
Bomb--2 Feb 09
WAW--6 Feb 09
Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!!
ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!!
Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
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Skeptical?

You are being strung along, bigtime. And I don't think it's healthy for your D13 to see this example. You don't have a lot of time to let this play out.

I don't see what is wrong with the original plan you had. She comes home and breaks off with OM, or.....they both get reported.

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Have you ever tried going totally dark with her?


Me - 45
D - 19
D - 17
S - 14
S - 13



Final - 1/15
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I have but she was with OM so apparently she didn't care.

Ok, she just left. She stayed not even an hour. She had a good time interacting with my daughter. I decided it was not the time to press about anything and not appropriate in front of my daughter. I could tell she misses her. Both of them. So, I live to fight another day? I don't know what the future holds but I've calmed down a little bit. I'm sure as already said on here she's going through withdrawl of OM. Still waiting.


M-41
ex-W-40
Together--17 years
SS-20
D-14
Bomb--2 Feb 09
WAW--6 Feb 09
Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!!
ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!!
Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
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She's not worth it.

Just my $.02.

Not only is she jerking you around, but I worry for your daughter.

Sorry,

Stacy


Me - 45
D - 19
D - 17
S - 14
S - 13



Final - 1/15
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She's not worth it.

Just my $.02.

Not only is she jerking you around, but I worry for your daughter.

Sorry,

Stacy


Me - 45
D - 19
D - 17
S - 14
S - 13



Final - 1/15
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AFWAW,
I feel so bad for you and your daughter. Iraq, Bronze Star, Vet, 20+ yrs Active Duty, MSgt (the Star should get you SMSgt, good luck). I did 27+ years, if you can try and make SMSgt and CMSgt and do the 30. You will be very pleased with the money
...it is time for you to end this. Tell the Lt Col's wife now...this will stop him. With his wife being a Col this will create much stress for him...don't worry about thinking your wife will be embarrassed, you can bet money her shop knows already and the gossip mill is working overtime...I am not sure but I thought you said she was a TSgt or MSgt, either way, how can she expect anyone she supervises to listen to a word she says...she has given up the moral authority to be a NCO or SNCO. Don't you do the same thing by not doing your duties...this is affecting the mission of her section...guaranteed!
Go talk to your 1st Sgt now! He can get a no contact order issued very quickly to prevent this Lt Col from talking to your wife...she is going to be embarrassed but will not have to worry about a court martial (she deserves an Art 15 though) with such a big difference in the ranks the Lt Col is an idiot. Expose now. Your 1st Sgt can talk to his 1st Sgt. I think the best way is for you to talk to the Command Chief though...with him having the ear of the CC for enlisted matters this will quickly come to an end...guaranteed when the find out you were in Iraq and could not trust the officers...your marriage will survive the exposure, it will not survive the affair and neither will your pride.
The most important is your daughter...take care of her and do not expose her to your wife when she is acting this way...she is already telling her lies. That is no mother in anyones book. This is not easy...much harder than your deployment. I have seen this a hundred times...do not let her blame this on your job....I deployed seven times and three remotes...every time a spouse had an affair they blame it on the deployment. Guaranteed she did it before you left or wanted to and just waited for you to leave...be proud of your job and keep your head up...nothing is more important than your daughter. Forget the wedding on the beach...put it on the back burner and plan for your 20th anniversary. What would you tell one of your troops? You are a good man and she is lucky to have you...take care.

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