I'm here........

[SueS]

Hi everyone-

Just wanted to stop by to say hello and give a bit of an update.

Not a lot has changed other than the way I've been feeling. My unemployed H went on an 8 day vacation with his brother to Vegas and Los Angeles from 4/11-4/19. That left me trying to figure out what to do with D5. Thankfully schedules worked out just right. D5 and I went to my family for Easter and I stayed until Monday. D5 stayed with them and came home on Friday. My mom brought her in on her way to my cousin's baby shower. Otherwise, I'm not sure what I would have done. As is typical, H called at least once (if not twice) a day from his vacation to tell me what he was up to, ask if I'd spoken with D5 (yes he did keep in touch with her) and to ask what I was up to. Then, once he got home, he shut down and got cold AGAIN.

I'm not sure what to think. I came to a realization the other night. It was honestly one of those - BAM - WOW - kind of deals. I was in the kitchen and I realized that despite the fact that my marriage is still in the same spot it was a year ago, I am not. I am more confident. I am more involved in things. I take more chances. I take better care of myself. See, I started making more "dates" with friends. I started making more "dates" for D5 and I to spend with her best friend & her mom. I started a running class last week. This was my second week. Although I was dead tired afterward.....I DID IT. I've gotten up 2-3 times a week to go run. I've found myself just doing things instead of thinking and re-thinking everything that I do or how it will affect H. H's moods can tend to affect me from time to time but I don't walk on eggshells around him anymore. A wise woman from the boards told me that I shouldn't have to deal with his moods. I know she's right. I'm just happy that they don't affect me anymore. I'll eventually get to the point where I'm more vocal about what he can do with his moods!! I know I will. The thoughts have been in my mind. They just haven't made it out of my mouth yet.

H goes to his classes for his DUI this weekend. He thinks they are a waste of time & money. I know he'll be the one sitting there thinking that he shouldn't be there....that he doesn't have a problem. I'll tell him to please stop and consider how it's affected us and his family over the years and I'll leave it at that.

I believe that H is still in close contact with OW, although I can't prove it at this time. OW's H called me a few weeks ago and he has the same suspicions. She has told him that she has no intentions of working on their M, although she also has made no moves or has no intentions at this time of moving out.

Well, work is over and I'm ready to go home.

Have a great evening/day!

SueS