OMG Bagheera.. i got the book today.. i just filed that away for another day..we are no where near those discussions..LOL....
I would read through it anyway, on your own, just to reassure yourself that (a) you are perfectly normal in desiring this, and (b) that yes, it -IS- possible for your mild-mannered man to find and unleash his inner rake / rogue / pirate / caveman.
At the same time, I understand exactly what you are saying above. I don't think that form of sexual relationship should begin until the two of you have reestablished a lot of love, trust, and CONNECTION. My wife didn't reveal to me what had been missing in the bedroom until we were about 8 months into the recovery process, and even then, very reluctantly.
-- B.
At least I made you smile, and laugh.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
