Looking backward but only to move forward SEVEN

[sage]

Part of me is feeling calm, focused, able to DB again and part of me is feeling a little freaked out by the realization of how far we've drifted from our "peak". I don't know...maybe there are marriages out there that are smooth sailing day in and day out but I feel like once you've experienced the bomb dropping it's hard to let your guard down...or, in my case, it was hard to let it down, then I totally let it down (and stopped working hard, paying attention, etc.) and now I'm panicking a wee bit that it's too late. sigh.

Anyway, yesterday was mostly good -- I did fine on exercise/diet, did 15 minutes of cleaning (tho' I picked something that was not out in the open so I'm the only one who would notice..), and meditated. I tried to be open, listening, loving, warm to h. I think I did a good job but internally I had a tough time when he was very abrupt with Charlotte over a few things. But I kept my mouth shut and my opinions to myself! (and I think I kept my body language very neutral).

I am the WORSE declutterer. I wish I had the neat gene...would be easier to keep things clean at home.

Sage