Your vision for the future is a bit foggy right now, but you need clarity now more than ever. Therefore, in order to understand what you want for yourself, you need to take all the time you need to ponder where you want to take your life over the next five years. Do not apologize for being slow -- your future is too important! Luckily it won't take long for you to come up with a few ideas, especially since you see a great opportunity that could change everything.
Oh, and on another note regarding in-laws (x inlaws)...
I put some thought on what all was said here about the sitch. Last week, I spoke with MIL about it. I reiterated that I didn't want to ever be in the way of her relationships with her kids and extended family, that I appreciated them and all that they've done. But, if there was ever a time that they wanted to change the living arrangements, I would "get it."
She said that she and FIL consider this home, but realizes that things would probably be different now if they hadn't lived here through the mess. That she thought God was at work that they were here, and doesn't know what would have happened to me if they weren't here then. I told her she doesn't have to feel responsible for me in that way anymore, or ever again. She said, well, what would I do about the rent - didn't I need the money? I said yes, but I would either rent the apt out or sell the house if need be for something smaller, it wasn't a big deal. She told me about her cousin's house back down on LI, and how he had assumed that they would move in there when FIL retired (in Nov!). She said she had no idea where he got that idea from. We ended the convo with her saying she would talk to FIL about it.
They are leaving for a short trip to FL tomorrow, for their nephew's wedding, her sister's son. This is the sister I visited soon after X moved out, but has been telling MIL that she has to find forgiveness for her son. Three of their five kids will be down there, too (x doesn't have the $). I wasn't invited.
And its ok. I bet if I had been able to remain friends with X, invitations would still be extended (maybe not). Who wants the drama? Same thing with a SIL, the one who excluded me from her wedding shower and caused a lot of drama within the family (she's pregnant now, and I'm not anticipating an invite to the baby shower, either).
If they move, maybe MIL and I will remain friends, maybe not. I would expect it would go back to much the way it was before they moved in here - cards, the occasional rare phone call, get-togethers for some family functions. Some people are in your life for a season (remember that saying?), and I can accept that.
