I wanted to ask a question that I had addressed in another post. I think it was Snodderly that had asked someone about what items the spouse took when he left the marriage/home. I dont know about others, but my xh didnt seem to take anything really important to him accept one picture of our son (when he was very young). He did however take a few things to set around his house. Just some that we had boxed up that went in our office. He also took a digital picture frame that I had bought him for his birthday. He acted like a child over this frame, stating that "you bought that for me, for my birthday and it is mine"! This digital frame had some different pictures on it, including some of me and xh together. I offered to erase them, but he insisted that I didnt touch it, it was his and he was taking it like it was! (He or ow may have erased them by now, or she may not even know I am on there because he doesnt let it change the picture. He pretty much keeps it on the picture of our son). He left behind ALL his tools, his mothers briefcase from her funeral, and pictures of his family. (His deceased mother and father included in these). Now I know that they are in a rush to leave, but I have asked him several times in the past if he wanted this stuff and he said NO. He told me to throw his tools in the trash!. Snodderly I know (I think), it was you that had asked this question, so I was wondering what your take was on this. Is there a reason you asked someone else this, and what signifiance does it?
and to add.... the stuff in the box was fire dept. related stuff, plaques and stuff.(He was chief for many years and quit that too). The last time I was at his house, the stuff was STILL in the box.
Jack how long did it take you to get to the point were you REALLY could care less if they ever return? I thought I was there but then I have a bad day. Some days I dont care and think I am getting so much better, then suddenly, Bam! These feelings of missing him, my life, my family, comes from nowhere. When am I ever gonna get over it, the man doesnt WANT ME!
It takes a long time. It is going to take you a longer ammount of time, because you have little self control, you think you NEED to talk to him so you do, you think you NEED to see him so you do...
With self restraint it comes.
I don't think people have left you, I think people are tired of investing time and enegry in you without you doing the same for yourself. Hence the C question.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Jack I CAN NOT find a counselor with NO MONEY to pay one. AND I have gotten some self control, I dont talk to him or see him. I havent done this in a MONTH.
Do you not believe me Jack. I dont see or talk to him anymore.
Jack I dont even post something of my myspace in fear that he may see it and THINK I am thinking of him. I am working on NOT mentioning his name to ANYONE PERIOD. I am taking steps, what do you all want me to say? Do you want me to say I dont care anymore. I cant do that.
