Of course it is not easy! Who ever said it was easy?
I have been in my situation for going on 14 months. My H left me after a decade of marriage, he left me when I was very, very ill and he was having an affair. Do you think I dont cry often? I do! Do you think I dont miss him? I do! Do you think its not hard for me? It is!
It is hard not to hope and wish and its even harder to think of our lives w/o our spouses. But hoping and wishing wont help or change a thing. If you want a shot for YOU and for your spouse, you have to get past hoping and wishing and imagining and do something else.
Wow! It really helps to talk with someone like you who has been at this for a long time! My wife left after nearly 2 decades together. I've cried a bunch...but it's been a while since I have. I miss her like crazy though. It's hard foe me too! You have my respect for hanging there as long as you have! I do hope and wish...a lot! I'm just not ready, I guess, to think of life without her. I want to do whatever I can to have another shot with her! I'm trying to get past hoping and wishing. I just don't know what to do other than what I am right now...and being more patient.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
