Maybe Baby, the Gypsy Lied

[hoosiermama]

Allow me to weigh in here, too, based upon my experience. My D13 figured out on her own that dad "had a girlfriend"--even her identity, that that's why he left, and that he is selfish. And she loves him anyway--and that's a good thing. That's grace, and she knows she's giving it. And I'm not standing in her way. This is a powerful lesson for both of us--and maybe, even for her father someday.

I don't know if or when I would have provided her with that information, but she came out with it herself. She won't talk much about it these days--and I think that's an individual thing. But I have always encouraged her relationship with her father--for her sake. She has seen how his sin has affected all of us negatively. And it's not okay with her. She is learning how to "hate the sin and love the sinner" through this experience.

I would NEVER have told her that our family ended because dad and I couldn't get along. I believe he may have, but I have been clear that that is an unacceptable reason to end a marriage. She has also expressed sadness and anger at God because he has allowed this--and if it's not His will, how could He allow it? That provided an opportunity to discuss free will and poor choices, and why things like adultery are sinful.

I believe, and have found through experience, that if you remain in prayer throughout this, and keep the door open, there can be unpredictable blessings in spite of everything else.