Peace, You are way ahead of your H on the growth curve. He still has a lot of reality to face, while you've already been facing and learning all along the way.
Smart of you to see how he is trying to push his anger back on to you-and good for you for sidestepping it! You are a good role model for your children as far as what it means to be a caring parent and being a mature, responsible adult.
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
Hi peace- It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do, your H could find a way to be angry at you...but you know it is just another way to keep from dealing with his own issues and to keep from looking at what he walked away from. Someday he will have to face reality...we hope.
You are moving forward and enjoying life...your H is stagnate and miserable. Sucks to be him.
Hope you are still having fun with your dance partner!
Wow Peace you handled yourself well. Nice job! Don't let your xh suck you into his drama. Let him live the life he created. It's what he wanted, but yet doesn't seem he is so happy now.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
I have been dancing with this man for about 1 month The attraction is very strong this is the first attraction in the past 2plus years that I am having a hard time fighting I am not sure/no I know this man is not what I really want yet the pull is so very strong I am choosing to still dance with him eventhough I told him I am "Not dating" yet he seems to be patient although he is reapecting my boundry to Not date
I do not want xH back.. As much as I desperately wanted XH back ,it is all gone now I am trying to figure out what to do
My concern with a R such as this new one is: I do not want to fall in love(or get addicted) to someone and I feel it I cant explain how crazy it is or what energy is flowing betweeen 2 people when they are strongly attracted I dont know why I have created this now I was doing well evjoying being on my own I do not want another R But
It feels so good to be with him( this is what happens to our H) I love dancing with him and him holding me I tell myself to not GO dancing, but I find myself there SO I am writing this to remind all of us how strong the pull is i FIND MYSELF UNDERSTANDING WHAT THE a MUST HAVE BEEN LIKE FOR MY xh hE COULDNT FIGHT IT--I find compassion for him b/c I sense strongly he doesnt love OW and he is in a painful R now with her 2 years later///just my sense I am not in MLC I am D..but sometimes I do feel like I am cheating too??? This man doesnt know I have been standing for my M this whole time IM not sure what to do and I know a lot of you would think go for it You are D now and I will aventually get a new R But I cant make up my mind with this one and Im so out of practice thanks for listening peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Oh Sweetie, listen, if you are not sure about this, then slow it down. I am not so sure it is a good idea for you to jump into something so soon. There are a lot of emotions you are going to have to work through, that will hit you when you dont expect it.
You will know when you are ready. You will have no doubts. If he is someone special, he will still be around when you are ready to fully committ.
H called me 5x today..wanted to tell me he had pinkeye He still looks to me as his mom???? why not call his 28 year old live in GF
Oops hope she doesnt catch it!
I realized today that I still have some unresolved issues with H that are not settled in me The OW--although I feel less threatened by her and I feel more and more she is nothing it still hurts that H chose her over me I also realize I cant more forward with this guy until I have clearer closure here H and I need to resolve the visitation issues between us I think I found a couselor to see us and H has agreed to go for coparenting visits I have to finish this process in my heart and mind,then I will be free peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
peace- I can't believe the OW is only 28 and his former secretary...yikes! How cliche!
Do not ever feel threatened by the OW. What kind of a woman gets involved with a married man?...especially one that has young children at home? This woman can have no self-respect...and know that she can never truly trust your XH after the way their relationship started.
So funny that your H calls you about his pink-eye. It does appear that he looks to you maternally. Obviously the OW doesn't know what do to help him.
I hope that if you complete the co-parenting counseling with your XH, it will give you the closure you need...However, I am not sure if we can ever predict when we will completely let go.
This is a difficult process but we all gain so much for having gone through it. Your XH and the OW have lost so much more than they know from what they have done. You keep living a good life, keep learning from this experience and know that there will be many blessings in your future that you won't take for granted.
