Hi Everyone! bluerain--He actually has an incredible ego and maybe his self esteem is too high. I could be wrong....but she was really pulling on his chain and really got him wrapped around her little finger. She did it because she has low self esteem, her words, not mine--my H was a huge ego boost her. The boyfriend that dumped her really berated her. And then with H and I we were arguing a lot and yes, I had become very critical because I was lonely and unhappy too. So while I do NOT agree with this relationship, I can step outside the box and see how it happened, how it blossomed. Two people sick of their relationships building each other up....happens everyday, I'm learning. In terms of getting him to let me see the phone bill or him getting a new job, etc. No way. At this point he says he wants out. So he has no reason to reassure me of anything else.
Thinker--In our situation, yes. H has always been very opened about his physical attraction to me. Even if we fight in just a few hours of the next day, he'll be flirting with me again. BUT back in December, early January, there was NO physical contact between us and I've come to learn that's when things were hot and heavy with the other relationship, meaning, he thought he was getting somewhere. (Mid January, she got herself a new rich boyfriend.) So we've seen progress in the flirting dept. But I will say this too Thinker, I need to really really really work on getting rid of all the bad feelings between us and making it a sure bet that when he's with me, it's going to be completely relaxed without much effort or need to think OR lots of fun, with lots of laughs. I am trying to work on letting him know forgiveness is possible for me and we do still have a solid path between us that can very much be walked on. I'm hoping as the good become re-established the flirting and wanting to be around me will increase. One of my short term goals.....he'll want more time with me, less time trying to talk to anyone else. I plan on winning.
