I start this post ...at court..as usual. The lake stands outside reflecting the sun, surrounded by the blooms of yellow forsythia. It belies the pain and anguish that lies within this building.

I'm good today. As is typical, both parents of XXX are here standing by the elevator. I walk by steadily, head up. I used to sit nearby. I choose to walk further down and sit in a small cul-de-sac. I read or do a crossword puzzle. I choose not to watch their laughing, nonchalance etc as if what is happening to our children means nothing.

I used to be very intimidated to come here. No more. It's a pain but I will do what I need to to survive this and keep going for the kids.

At times I feel great inner power in moving forward. At other times I feel like a deer caught in the headlights..wondering how I got here and soon to be hit by a freight train.

I'm OK. I even think I am ready to date when this winds down more.

Well, if the appraisal of my practice is done, the bigstuff begins. FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;