Your wife is trying to make YOU decide. This is not your decision to make; it's hers. Don't give her a deadline! The problem with deadlines is that a wayward will cake-eat right up until the 23rd hour, and then promise you the moon and the stars to stave off the executioner when dawn comes.
Don't do it.
Your position needs to be "This is your mess; you need to clean it up. I won't wait forever, and every day that you keep contacting him I lose a little more love for you. Please decide."
Which is pretty much what you did. You may feel the conversation was bizarre, but you handled it BEAUTIFULLY, I mean real "A+" stuff.
What you CAN tell her is that you have a plan. But you can't make the decision for her.
