In the past I'd fall on the sword if I thought it was the right thing to do for another person. That noble sacrifice unwitting martyr thing.
When the time is right, it's right. It isn't now. It will be when you're in the right place, feel a level of confidence and trust in yourself and with her.
When I met people, after knowing them briefly, I'd march out the sexual abuse of my childhood, getting raped, horny co-workers molestations.. on and on about private woes. Looking back, I was an active victim hanging a sign around my neck saying 'hurt me' and attracting even more predators.
Private stuff is just that.. private. It's something you go through and process. If it's still a big issue to your self esteem and confidence, you might consider seeing a good therapist. I can give you some names of folks who are very skilled on the alternate universe.
And you know what FL? It all comes out in the wash eventually. Better to do it sooner rather than later. It's like the woolly mammoths in the La Brea tar pit. The beast had a problem.. and made it even worse with his own struggles in the tar. Address the issue that caused you to take such drastic actions. Minimize how long you keep yourself in the after effects, the tar pit.
When with all honesty you can relate to yourself what and why it happened without feeling shame then you're there. We're all one incredible imperfect perfect package, my friend.
Oh yes.. and Smarmy had no choice but to admit to his paper trail.
