Thanks Mat, I am proud of all the work I have done in C and I do finally understand that I will be better off not putting up with what I have in the past.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
God help me.. please keep us in your prayers this weekend. I don't know how I will survive! I would like to leave the house and stay gone, but that is not really possible.
I don't believe for a second that he wants me, but he is afraid to let go of me. Anytime I find my backbone he panics. He wants to be free and I am willing to let him be... so why won't he go????
I know I have made a mess of my dbing efforts and I don't know where else to turn except lift my prayers God.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
In some fashion, you are splitting the debt now and are each paying off some portion. The same would be true if you D, except that you would not have to work with H on it. What is the benefit of paying the debt down prior to D?
once the debt is paid I would get spousal support. with the debt I won't, H will just get more of the debt. Am I wrong in thinking that will be an advantage in the long run?
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
NNP, not sure about the issue of getting spousal support vs. debt, but the main issue I thought was making sure you "lasted" until you "secure" the military retirement benefits (after 20 years). I didn't negotiate well for spousal support long term, but right now I have a roof over my head which mattered the most to me. I wonder what others think.....I do know you have to pay taxes on spousal support, but not child support.
Do you think there is any chance your H will have an awakening once he moves away??? Is he still in counseling?
