Yes, I do have a huge Faith......I have been turning to God and praying for Him to guide me in the best way; guide all of us. I also have a group of wonderful friends that are al supporting me; there is not one friend that has any expressed concern and, sometimes, outrage at what is happening,they have and continue to be amazing.
The issue of the marital bed is a very true one. I dont think that I have fully felt the impact of H and OW sexual relationship; boy does it hurt when I go there.
How have other people coped with infidelity/adultery? I know there are many M that survive this and more but at the moment I cant imagine being with him in that way again. In January when we were having sexual contact he was creating boundaries (some things, not others) because he was obviously worried about cheating on his new lover ta that stage. I stupidly trusted him at the time; I thought that we were working on our marriage? I now look back months later and realise just how much that rejection hurt. Here was a man who for 10 years said that i was the most desirable woman he had ever known, or could know.He was saying this even at the end of Jan....
I am dreading the time when he moves back in the house and am trying to work out a way legally where I can prevent this; this is truly emotional abuse.
I have to protect myself and my daughter. On the other hand I do not recognise this person. Do all WAS display these alien tendencies? In my sitch he does not speak to me at all except in relation to our D. He wouldnt know how I am, what I am doing in my life, my health etc.......it feels totally bizarre that he has switched the light switch off........is it denial?
I am not contacting him, def GAL (out seeing friends, keeping busy etc). Doing this I definitely feel better in myself. But I miss the man who I Thought I was married to, who I used to share so much of my life with. Instead I am looking at a carbon copy which bears no resemblance emotionally to my H.
Its hard when you feel so far away from your H........I am sure the protection order has damaged things but it had to be done.
I pray that we may find a way through this but for the moment he wants nothing to do with me personally and I have no choice but to keep moving forward and live my life according to my principles, and to create a life for me and our D that is in keeping with what we had always hoped for our lives.
