BUNS, ABS, AND HEART OF STEEL #3

[kjensen]

Trusting,
I love your last post. What a clear summary of what our spouses must see, of what we LBS must do, of our hope for rational thought and softened heart to return to our loved ones.

Last night as my H and I were leaving or first couples communication class my H said he has a fear that if he puts effort into our marriage and the marriage still fails, that will be the end. Unfortunately, instead of just validating, I stated my view that if we don't put effort into our marriage it will fail. I missed a good validating moment there and H noticed! My H has said he has had fears all of his life. Fear of poverty, fear of ending up alone...even now with his ongoing A, he has said his biggest fear is that he will end up alone and on food stamps within months. He may be unconsciously creating a self-fulfilling prophecy...