Ok, gotta fill you guys in on my crazy H (I like calling him that lately)... so thank God, with you guys support I didn't call him yesterday and with no surprise he called me today. At first I wasn't going to answer and then I figured, what the hell. I made sure I answered and I was in good spirits.
Me: Hey what's happening? H:I haven't hear from me since the party on Saturday. I was calling to see if you ok thought something happened to you. Me: Yea, I was going to call you on Sunday but I went out with my friend. H: Ooo Me: And no it wasn't a guy, I know how you like to think. (In hindsight, I actually shouldn't have even said this but I did.) H: Oh please I know you're seeing someone. Your friends are always more than friends. (I can understand him saying that since I did make up "OM" and have done these stunts before.) Me: Sorry, I brought this up and I actually don't want to have this conversation. So what's happening. H: I just wanted to see if you're ok since I thought somethng happened to you. Me: I'm alright here... (then we went on to talk about business stuff). H: we don't even talk much anymore really. (I ignored that comment.)(business stuff business stuff) Me: Well, I gotta get back to work since I will be here late. Take it easy.
Then, H calls right back.
H: Is everything ok? I'm getting this weird feeling. (I know the weird feeling he's getting is that I'm not pursuing him anymore) H: Are you pregnant? Any disease? Or anything I should know about. (Yea, he actually asked this. But I know where they stem from. Although H has a son with OW, he always has this fear of me moving on and starting a family with another guy.) Me: Nope, not pg. And if I have anything trust me I would take you down with me. (Both H and I went and got tested lately so I know he is fishing. I do hate the fact that this is even a possibility though.) H: Me, not me, the other guy you're seeing... Anyway, I wanna tell you that I do appreciate you. And when I come back home. Me: Stop! I don't want to hear it. H: I know you don't want to hear it but let me just tell you. Me: No I don't want to hear. H: Just listen for a minute. Me: Fine, go ahead. H: When I come back home I know what I need to do, ok? I know what I did wrong. (I just listened to him go on). Me: Ok.
You know this conversation made me realize that H is definitely feeling and noticing the change in me. I think he is beginning to realize that he doesn't have things under control as much as he thought. Thanks to the help of you guys. Don't get me wrong, I know he is not there yet. But I see progress. But I know I need to de-throne his a-s, H really thinks he has me under his wraps. The scale has to tip in this relationship. So I have to keep it up.
So, my plan of action gpoing forward, I need to keep the distance up. I know he will try to reach out again soon, so I need to not answer. One of the things I want to stop is H using this "I'm coming home." "I plan to come home." I think he uses it as his weapon and he thinks it another way come to control me. I don't want to hear it until he makes a move to do what he needs to do. H will play this game for as long as I allow it. So I was thinking the next time he brings it up, if on the phone I will say forcefully, "stop I don't want to hear it until you have done something about it. I gotta go." What do you think? What should I do in person? And I really don't want to hear it for real. My sister's children father left and had her waiting for over 5 years saying that he's coming back while he lived with another woman. I don't want that to be me, I refuse for that to be me. I feel either he takes action or stuff it.
