I'm feeling so discouraged

[PortlandDad]

DL I think the last thing you want to do is try to make him jealous by pretending (or otherwise!) to be seeing someone else. That is a dangerous slope that can lead to a revenge A or cement the fate your already imperiled M. By effectively stooping to his level of behavior, even if only for appearances, you surrender the high moral ground and reduce (not increase) his discomfort level for what he is doing.

He may get jealous, true, but do you think that will bring him back to you? Once he is past the 'crisis' and has you securely in his court, he will likely flit back to his english muse again. There is also the possibility that it could end up much, much worse.

Mystery IS GAL! Doing things for you, and not necessarily telling him about it, increases your own self-esteem and your confidence. Those things show through your personality and your bearing and are noticeable, believe me. If you dress nice, take care of your health and figure, act (and be!) happy, that will start the mystery ball rolling without any scandalous undertones. Of course, being less available to him when he calls, or needs something is also part of going dim. Some things you can try:

• Don't answer the phone when he calls: let the answering machine get it.
• Don't respond to his text messages right away. Let him wait a bit before answering. Unless the need is pressing, let a few go unanswered.
• Don't spend as much time at home. Go out and do things more with the kids. If you aren't at home, you won't deal with his calls or visits.
• When he does corral you, if the conversation isn't going any place constructive, be in a hurry to go somewhere else. Don't be rude, just let him know you have something pressing that needs to be taken care of and ask him to call back later.