"fb2, I cant change it on my own. I cant. It's the truth. It takes 2 to tango my friend. And believe me, I am tested every day on my patience, understanding etc etc. I am beginning to feel like a fool here. NOT good. (disappointed not mad )" K, Not sure what you are referring to. But I sense your frustration. I've been told you can't change another person - if you are referring to changing your H.
Let's say you D and this H of yours is off with the OW. How would that feel to you?
