The adventure continues--part 3

[AFWAW]

Burt,
I hope you're right. Had lunch with the wife today. She had called and left a voicemail that asked if I was going to the gym and she would wait for me to walk in together--ok good. I tried calling back but no answer. So, I sent an email from work saying sorry I missed her call and that we did PT at our unit instead. I called her later to see if she wanted to go to lunch--it seemed like she was reaching out to me. From what I've read, when someone does that this is usually what they want. She said it's secretary's day and I have to go to lunch at this place for work. Do you wanna go? Sure, sounds good. She says I'll come pick you up. Great. So we go and in the car I try to hold her hand. She says I'm not ready for that yet. Ok. She says if we get back together I think we should have a wedding ceremony--I said that sounds good to me, I'd like that. I said what do you mean if? Aren't you coming back home? She said I think so.(Wow, still conflicted--I know it's got to be tough getting over this other guy but really, if it's over, it's over, right?) I let it go as not to pursue. She noticed I wasn't wearing my ring. She said when did you stop wearing it? I said a few weeks ago. She asked why. I said you pissed me off and I took it off. I said if you're coming back home to be my wife I'd be proud to wear it again though.

So we got to lunch and it was a little awkward as she introduced me not as her husband but as John. She had her small group of friends she hangs out with there and I know they all know what's going on as she told me they do. I hope they will encourage her to come home. I kept wondering if one of the guys she was with was at the lunch but from the way she was acting I didn't think there was. I talked with one of her friends and I forgot how funny the wife is. I haven't smiled like that in a while. My face actually hurts--this is what I love about this woman--she knows how to have a good time. She kept leaning over to tell me stuff and did include me in the conversations. At one point she asked me if I was uncomfortable. I said no. So, we left and on the guys from her group shook my hand and told me we would have to do lunch again soon. I agreed and thanked him. This guy has a lot of influence on my wife I know and I hope he encourages her to come home.

Had my IC this afternoon as well. Told my counselor all and asked her if she thought I was a moron. She said no, I think you love your wife. Right now, the question is, how much more can you put up with? That's a good question. She asked me about future sexual relations with my wife and if it would bother me? I told her the wife had asked bascially the same thing and told her no, it wouldn't bother me and I wouldn't think about it as it was in the past.

So, where do things stand at this moment? She hasn't moved back in but I think is considering it very carefully. What do I think is hold her up? I think she is trying to get over feelings she has for OM. I believe that she is very conflicted and doesn't believe that I can or have forgive her. So having said that, what's my game plan?

I didn't give attention in the past, so I'm going to start. It's not going to be a mad rush though. I'll start today with an email and a phone call. When she comes over tomorrow, I'll have a card for her. Baby steps, baby steps.

So, lots to read through, lots to think about and anaylze. Anybody wanna chime in and give me some of what you're thinking?