So you say, like the manly pirate you are, "hey baby, no one is looking and the curtains are drawn....flash me your boobs!"
To which she looks at you with sour response and flat out refuses.
And then you say "Don't give me that look, you're MINE and I want to see those t*ts right now young lady, so FLASH ME!" (said with a wink to let her know you are "playing pirate" but stern enough that she knows you are serious).
To which she sighs, rolls her eyes, and the reluctantly flips her shirt up for one millionth of a second, during which you don't even really get to see them.
And you respond "that's more like it, and I'll take more of that later when I feel like it".
Progress.
Baby step or giant leap?
What is there to loose? Sour look and rejection?
OK I get that this is your personal demon and its hard for you.
But logically, in reality, she WANTS you to do this, sour look or rejection or not.
Ohh I will, I will. It will be the next big "challenge" for me but I am so excited about it already. Unfortunately at the moment, my and H are still separated. Not much to share for now. But I have been doing my homework, getting ready for the lucky guy (whoever that maybe if not my H)... I have lost enough years of my life being sexually frustrated.I am determined to change that. Thanks K
I have a question for the ladies, stemming from something LuckyGirl said regarding a 'Saturday morning surprise' that I gave my wife a couple of week ago:
Originally Posted By: LuckyGirl
Yank... off... panties...
Exxxxcellent! Yum.
Last night I took this a step further. It was late, the kids were long since asleep, and my wife and I were unwinding, each in our own areas of the house. On a horny whim, I strode into the room where she was, turned down the light, shut the door, walked over to her and tilted her head back, kissed her, and told her "I want you, right now." I then had her pleasure me manually, then orally, and ended up with her bent over the chair, panties yanked down, while I took her from behind. The entire scene was one of "sexually dominant man 'taking' his woman," with no real attentioon given to stimulating her (and no O for her either).
Stipulation 1: the above is an infrequent occurrence, and still a bit out-of-character for me. Mutual satisfaction during sex is very important to me, and during most encounters I do a decent job of building her arousal state and giving her opportunities for orgasm. So she doesn't lack for slower, more reciprocal sex with me.
Stipulation 2: She is generally happy in the relationship now, feels like her needs are bieng met, and we have a solid emotional connection.
So the questions for the women are: What did she get out of this? How did it make her feel?
She submitted willingly and with only token protest, and apparently enjoyed it from all the indications that I got. We both stayed up and read for a while afterwards, then had a nice spoon and cuddle as we drifted off to sleep in bed.
I know how I felt about it, and I -think- I know how she did, but I'd like to hear form the ladies on this.
-- B.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
Holy cr@p. I think I came close to my first mental orgasm over that scenario.
As long as she Os sometimes, and is given all kinds of luvin' that does consider her pleasure, that type of experience mixed in is like chocolate jimmies on the ice cream cone. An extra layer of yummy fun!
Ohhhhh, you want me to be all smart and stuff. ; )
It's completely primal to not worry about the woman enjoying herself and to take what you want and treat her like a ragdoll (think of a panther pouncing on the female, wrestling her into submission, her crying out for mercy)... which... is enjoyable for someone who wants to be dominated. It plays right into the pirate/caveman/cowboy wish. It reinforces that the man is, ultimately, in charge based on his physical strength and biological aggression and *can* take what he wants against her will *for real*. I think us submissives love to be put in our place. It reminds us that we are the frail, weaker one of the pair.
You brute, you.
Heck, it turns me on to see my husband hoist the giant window air units up the stairs. I could never lift one of those monsters (and I don't want to gain the strength to do so, either, even though I could achieve it). His sheer strength reminds me that if we were left in a cave somewhere, he would be my everything with regard to survival. He'd protect me from predators and go out and hunt down the food. 100%.
Is that more along the lines of what you were looking for?
Baggy, ok I'll try to explain it...I think I already said something similar to this recently on someone's thread but anyway I'll try again....
When a man is coming at you with the intent of taking you, your body almost involuntarily gets aroused. My theory is that because in nature, in some species, a male can and does overtake a female sometimes, and although she may in her way "consent" to it, so may also not really have much warning or willingness. So nature has set it up so that her body will get aroused, knowing by hormones and pheromones floating around, that she is about to get taken. Nature is kind to her in the sense that, it will allow her to automatically get aroused so that she doesn't get injured in the process of him taking her. (IE: if she isn't wet and swollen, it is going to hurt when he penetrates her).
So now lets go back to humans, and a woman knows a man is about to take her. The same process begins. Her body begins to get aroused on very short notice, essentially the same moment her BODY realizes it is going to get taken (which can happen before the mind realizes it, because of the pheromones, etc). Now her mind has to get on board too, so in comes to play the stuff you wrote about how your wife feels safe and secure, etc. If she didn't, she'd bat your ears and tell you no, whether aroused or not. But because her mind gets on board due to the foundation you have laid, she allows her body to "go with" the arousal...
So this particular type of arousal, the type that happens automatically in the body in response to a male about to take you, is VERY VERY yummy feeling arousal. It is very instinctual and natural. It definitely makes you feel like a woman. Most women can begin this arousal process by simply *imagining* a man taking her or attempting to take her.
This arousal is different than the kind that builds up and happens slowly in response to *sexiness*. Arousal in response to sexy and stimulation has its own pleasure and wonderfulness, but it is a *process* and it requies much more mental participation than the arousal that occurs without your mental participation necessary, as when you are about to be taken. Something about the suddenness and the involuntary aspects of the primal arousal that happens when you are about to be taken make it very VERY yummy and HOT.
The other type is yummy and hot too, but it like the "oven" John Gray describes in women's arousal cycle. By the time you are baking the goodies, its awesome! But this other type of arousal is like a microwave and goes from zero to 60 in just a moment of time...and that moment is the moment your body realizes your man is about to mount you!
When a woman doesn't have to think about getting aroused and instead it just happens naturally as in the case of getting taken, it is just plain more PRIMAL and SEXUAL than the other way of arousal....
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